The Essman Chronicals

"The Shirt"

On Friday, June 31 2000. Myself, Karl, Sean, Chad and of course Essman journyed to Greenville, SC. While there, we happened upon the store "Hot Topic". The gothic store in the Haywood Mall. Essman spotted a shirt with the phrase:

"Your powers are useless. I'm wearing tin foil underware"

Then we decided that it would be a good idea if Essman, while wearing his shirt "flew" into "Victoia's Secrets" and then in "The White House" in the Greenville Mall. Then he would stop at the counter. Point to his shirt with a big smile on his face. Wait a few seconds, and "fly" back out. Now, you will see a picture of Essman in the pictures section. He is in the picture titled "This is a picture from a football game. Yes they are evil, look at their eyes!" He is the second from the left. His hair has never NOT amazed me. Well, he did all of this. Twice. And both times it was the funniest thing in the world. The people in the store had the look on their face "What the hell is wrong with him" combined with "That was the funniest thing I've ever seen". Essman, I salute you.

"Risk"

This one happend awhile ago. Myself, Essman and Ellis were playing the board game "Risk". Essman wasn't doing that great. Neither was I. We were fighinting over Asia. Ellis had control of basically everything else. Essman decided to place all his armies in Kamchutca. It equalled 45. The surrounding countries were mine, totaling 10 total Armies. I decided that I had to attack his armies to attempt to weaken them. We fought and fought. Essman loosing constantly. At the end of the battles with his force of 45 against my 10, He was left with 7 and I was left with 3. Then the most famous quote ever was spoken from the Essman.

"What the fuck? what's with my luck? I suck!"

Once again Essman, I salute you.

 

"The Trunk "

This one hasn't actually happend yet. But it should soon. I got the great idea awhile ago that Essman should be placed in a trunk of a car wrapped up in rope and such to make it seem like he'd been kidnapped. Driven to a stop light, then the driver pop the trunk. This is where Essman would hope up and start yelling. The passanger would jump out, close the trunk, wave to all the people who saw it, get back in and drive off. Hopefully this will happen soon. Essman, you will be saluted once completion once more.